Should toys be anatomically correct? Maybe yes, maybe no. Should a toy horse have a tiny, humanlike penis and balls? That’s a big nope. And if you think the question is only theoretical, I’ve got a toy horse to show you.
https://twitter.com/atbobb/status/816822192646127616
The horse first came to everyone’s attention when Bob Velcoro’s daughter got a collection of toy animals for Christmas. “The gorilla, lion, zebra, giraffe, pig, and sheep do not have dicks. Only the horse,” he wrote.
Only the horse, with its weird little man-sized dick and testicles, an affront to nature itself. Perhaps you could argue that the horse peepee is part of an effort to normalize animal anatomy in a culture that’s still weirdly puritan after all these years. But the consensus seems to be that there’s nothing normal about that equine wangdoodle.
https://twitter.com/MattAlwayswrong/status/816822856260747264
https://twitter.com/atbobb/status/816866487839268864
https://twitter.com/sexyhitler_420/status/816823374680715265
https://twitter.com/yavin_alliance/status/816822642132979712
Horse weiner doesn't even look like that. Just sayin'.
— Whiskey's Quicker (@whiskeysquicker) January 5, 2017
Survey says: The dick is bad. Even extremely good musician Neko Case agrees.
@SteveHorrocks And that's like a human wiener stuck on a horse? Ew!
— Neko Case (@NekoCase) January 5, 2017
According to the Huffington Post, the toy is sold by a Canadian company called Battat. The company has yet to comment on why some of its animals have genitals, and why some of those genitals look unsettlingly human.
Good news for the horse, though: There’s a similar toy horse with a vagina out there, and she’s down to meet up.
https://twitter.com/jordivanderoord/status/816961738490990592
Best of luck, you crazy kids.