As a stripper, my job was to get into men’s heads… quickly!
They called me Paris. For me, a former stripper with 6 years of tips in my G-string, it was more than just a job. Vacations, shopping sprees, and allowances were just the beginning.
For two years, I dated a guy. One day, he purchased a brand-new car for me on a whim. It was then that I knew I figured out how to get exactly what I want from men.
I spent my birthday in Chicago. Spring Break in South Padre Island. A weekend in Vegas shopping and sleeping in a suite at the Venetian. Valentine’s Dinner at The Supper Club in San Francisco. A long weekend in the Bahamas. Just a few of the trips planned by me and paid for by men.
At one point, a man even bought me a house! You heard that right. Just MY name on the deed. We never even actually lived together.
I worked at the top earner in alcohol sales in Houston, St. James Cabaret. I wasn’t the star of the club. I never worked in Vegas. I was just a run-of-the-mill stripper in the southern city of 4 million. Getting what you want from men has nothing to do with your appearance or status. It has everything to do with these 15 fundamental tips I lived by.
Know what you want
First, and foremost, you need to know what you want from a man. Are you ready for a long-term commitment? Maybe you would like to connect with someone socially and intimately. Or, maybe you’re just looking for a wintertime cuddle buddy. Be clear with yourself about what you want to get from dating.
Like him!
It is important to know the guy you’re dating likes you. But, it’s even more important that you like the guy!
Listen
Men are often the ones who listen. But they too need someone to listen to them as well. Take time to actually hear what the guy is saying to you. Learn about them through their stories and provide positive feedback when they open up to you.
Conversation is key
The conversation is key. Now that you’re listening to him, talk about things you know he likes to keep him engaged.
Give him compliments
One of the easiest ways to get men to give you what you want is to give them compliments. Anything works, as long as it is authentic. Men don’t get enough compliments and it makes them release the feel-good hormone, dopamine. The bonus here? They will relate that good feeling to you!
Hang up first
How do you leave him wanting more? This small tip has always proved to be a success: Always be the first one to get off video chat or phone call. To follow that up, always be the one to leave the date first and the one to arrive last. It leaves him wanting just a little bit more time with you.
Keep it light.
Smile. Be pleasant. Say thank you for his compliments. It’s absolutely okay to have emotions, but are you really always mad? Or, unsatisfied? Or, in the middle of a crisis? Hopefully not. If so, you probably need to get what you want from yourself before trying to get it from men.
Give him a sense of purpose in your life
Guys who get ‘friend-zoned’ stick around for a reason. They have a sense of purpose in your life. Guy friends usually have the honor of being the shoulder you lean on (and sometimes cry on). For someone you’re dating, the sense of purpose could be more along the lines of letting him teach you something he knows how to do well, like shooting pool or driving a stick.
Be patient.
Be patient. Not everyone guy who comes into your life is the right guy for you. Walk away from men that rub you the wrong way, both figuratively and literally!
Take your time
Move slowly. Avoid becoming serious too quickly. Going from the first date to moving in together in a matter of months doesn’t give you the time to see the person for who they are. To go along with taking your time, remember the next tip as well.
Give him space
Distance does make the heart grow fonder. Giving him some time to think about you will make him want to call for another date. Some of us can become emotionally attached rather quickly. You already know some of his likes and dislikes, so finding multiple cute videos and memes to send him every day can be tempting. Don’t do that. Instead, try this next tip to help you give him space.
Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket
Dating multiple people is absolutely acceptable for singles. Dating more than one person will not only give him space, but it also gives you the opportunity to learn about your own likes and dislikes in men.
Show him your worth
Have some depth. Talk about your hobbies, school, or volunteer work. It’s something you should already be doing, so talking about it should be a breeze.
Switch-up dating techniques
If you’re not having any luck with online dating, try something different. Meet people in person. Look for opportunities for dating in your everyday life. You’ve been noticing that one guy at the gym. Walk up to him and talk to him and stop waiting to see if you ever match on Tinder. Alternatively, if you haven’t tried online dating, try it!
Flirt!
Give him that lingering eye contact. Touch his arm unnecessarily. Giggle occasionally. Send all the signals that you like him before you even get intimate. Guys eat this up. They love a good flirt.