Getting head. Blow job. Sword swallowing, slobbing on a knob—whatever you call it, the act of receiving oral sex is loved by all! While giving your partner mouth kisses “down there” is relatively straightforward, it can become a bit monotonous and frankly—boring! I’m here to share some of my BJ brains with you that will have you sucking the chrome off of a tailpipe in no time!
In case you’re worried about who is giving such “sensitive” advice: I’m (the one and only) Missy Martinez. I was an award-winning adult actress for a decade and have had…LOTS of experience with man meat in my mouth. Trust me, you’re in good hands with my salivary sage words!
Speak Up!
Before you whip out the knee pads and helmet and start acting like you’re sucking a golf ball through a garden hose, use your mouth for WORDS instead of orgasms first!
Tell your partner how excited you are to do the soul-sucking act. Tease and tantalize your lover by sharing what you’re going to do and how amazing it’s going to feel for them! Before you know it, there will be a clear…indication…that they’re ready for the next step!
Tease Their Brains Out!
While it’s easy to just jump right in and ravish that rod, let it build!
Start by breathing your hot breath on your counterparts’ inner thighs, member, and hangers. You’ll immediately see the person on the receiving end get goosebumps and make their hair stand on end (along with other parts of the anatomy as well.) Just makes sure to not eat garlic before doing this exhilarating exhale exercise!
Now, if you’re feeling EXTRA naughty and adventurous—breathe IN your partner’s scent. Smelling their musk, essence, and excitement is an absolute turn-on that will have your other senses begging to join in on the fun! Fingers are also an excellent tool for their tool. Lightly drag your fingertips and nails up and down their thighs and any other anatomical parts you see fit to make it an entire sensory experience that will drive them wild!
Let The Games Begin!
It’s really a “dealer’s choice” when it comes to your gagging game plan. You can start out nice and slow by utilizing your tongue mostly or you can devour the whole hog like a competitive hot dog eater at the country fair.
My personal technique (or dicknique, if you will) is to mix the two together for a hybrid horny time by alternating between slow and fast. The combinations are virtually endless, that is as long as your jaw doesn’t cramp up! A key tool to know if you’re hitting all the right mouth notes is to listen to your partner’s breathing, moans, and words. Trust me—you’ll definitely know when what you’re doing is working!
A Gagging Good Time
If you’ve ever watched an adult movie (or “accidentally” caught a glimpse, I won’t tell) you may have noticed that some of the performers engaging in swallowing the whole shlong down their throat!
In case you’ve been living under a rock (no judgment, I bet the rent is affordable) that talent is called deep-throating. It may come naturally to some people, but don’t become disheartened! If it’s a skill you’d like to acquire, all it takes is a little bit of practice.
Start out slow while..umm..making the member disappear down your food tube. See how far it can naturally go down the rabbit hole without resistance/discomfort. Over time, gradually try to take more, it’s a process so don’t be bummed if it doesn’t happen overnight (but totally celebrate if it does!)
Watch Out!
Just like with most things in life, accidents and embarrassing moments can happen. I’ll give you an example: A few years back, I was having some “mouth love” time with my man and I was really “going to town” and taking as much as I could as fast as I could. I pulled my head back to obviously see how much he was enjoying the effort I was putting in. As I was removing my mouth from his sausage, I felt something come out along with his dong—1 SINGLE SPAGHETTI NOODLE!
I was of course mortified and was contemplating walking into the ocean. After a few seconds and the sheer shock subsided, my partner and I almost DIED laughing. It comes with the territory: you may want to consider not having a bunch of liquid or a heavy meal right before you scarf down on their flesh dessert.
Ouch!
In case you haven’t noticed, mouths are full of a bunch of teeth. Like, SO many teeth.
While they help us chew our food, they are a phalluses nemesis (unless you’re into that, which is awesome.) When you’re in the suck-zone, your teeth can seemingly have a mind of their own and end up acting as a potato peeler, which I assume is not the effect you’re going for.
Be aware of your chompers at all times and even consider shielding your front/bottom teeth with your lips. It looks exactly like when you were a kid and tried to mimic someone without their dentures in. Also, it helps if your partner is attracted to the elderly! (But they’ll probably be too… occupied to notice.
To Swallow or Not to Swallow?
There is no right or wrong answer. Swallowing is 100% based on one’s comfort with the sticky aftermath. If jizz literally or metaphorically leaves a “bad taste in your mouth” forgo imbibing it.
There are plenty of other sexy alternatives to catch the cream! You can have your face splattered, have your chest drizzled or anywhere else you can imagine. At the end of the day, as long as your partner has an erection eruption, the rest is just geography.
Bonus Tips
Below are some tidbits to keep in mind before, during, and after your tonsil trot:
-Spit is your friend (I recommend drinking the white Gatorade to help your spittle look pristine.)
-Ask for instructions/guidance from your blow-ee.
-Switch up the positions, knees can only take so much!
-Utilize your hands whilst sucking!
-Make sure you have a towel handy for…you know…
-If kneeling, make sure your knees are comfortable (pillow, blanket, towel etc.)
-Remember that the balls need love too!
Now that I have imparted my wiener-sucking wisdom, grab a breath mint and some knee pads, and go make me (and your partner) proud!
PS: WATCH OUT FOR SPAGHETTI.