Nearly 250 years after the Revolutionary War, America has once again delivered a swift blow to the British empire, this time on an entirely different battleground: porn-watching habits.
According to new data from Pornhub, U.K. porn viewers last longer than the world average of 8 minutes 56 seconds, but not as long as American porn fans, who last 10 minutes and 51 seconds per visit. How do Pornhub number-crunchers determine this, you ask? By calculating “visit durations,” or the average amount of time it takes for Pornhub viewers to watch a video before, ahem, reaching completion.
Aside from revealing that our neighbors across the pond are, to put it classily, Quick Draw McGraws when compared to their American counterparts, Pornhub revealed the U.K.’s most popular search terms by city and country, and how many pages they click on per visit.
In London, for example, Pornhub viewers visit fewer pages than average (6.6), but their “duration time” is much longer, coming in at about 9 minutes 57 seconds. By contrast, the inhabitants of Aberystwyth, Wales (pop. 15,000) don’t last as long as Londoners, but they do visit more pages (because let’s be honest, what the hell else is there to do in Aberystwyth)?
But perhaps what’s most interesting about the Pornhub UK data is the list of most popular search terms by city and country. Although some of them seem to be fairly straightforward — Liverpudlians love MILFs and lesbians, while the Welsh have a predilection for squirting videos — there are a few surprises on the list. For instance, the top search term in every country except England is not a subgenre or fetish, but an individual porn star: MILF performer and Who’s Nailin’ Paylin? (SFW!) star Lisa Ann (NSFW!).
In England, Lisa Ann comes in second to “British,” which is also the top search term for London, Manchester, Edinburgh, and Leeds (according to a previous Pornhub study, it’s fairly common for porn viewers to demonstrate their sense of patriotism by searching for their own nationality, with Italy, Mexico, Brazil, Germany, and France also reflecting the trend).
Screengrab via Pornhub
Does this data provide us with any salient information about the cultural, political, economic, military, or topographical histories of these respective countries? No, it does not. But does it give you kind of a prurient little thrill to know that the fifth-most-searched-for term in Scotland is a “smoking” fetish, or that Americans last more than a minute longer than our neighbors across the pond (Say it with me now: USA! USA!)? Yes, it does.