You gotta give it up to Seinfeld Shitposting. For all the miles-deep references and deep, fundamental distrust of normie media entities, I’ve never found a better place for the khaki-wearing, mid-’90s malaise of everyone’s favorite Sisyphean sitcom. Seriously, I find our fascination with VHS tape and bulky New Balances at once comforting and disquieting.
If you don’t know, Seinfeld Shitposting is basically a Facebook group for image macros from Seinfeld, and like all hyper-specific internet communities, the jokes keep layering on top of each other until they develop their own particular language. That’s great! We love stuff like that. And more specifically, we love one of their newer commodities: Porn Gorg.
In 2009, New Sensations put out a James Deen-starring, 143-minute-long(!) porno called Seinfeld XXX Parody—NSFW, obviously. It earned 10 nominations at the AVN Awards, which makes me really happy for some reason. (Side note: do you know anyone on Earth who’s actually watched a full-length porn parody? Like, maybe I’m a waifish plebe, but I don’t think I could commit two hours to Seinfeld-inspired sex scenes, even ironically.)
Anyway, this film was rediscovered by the Seinfeld Shitposters, and they’ve developed a fascination with Steve Pomerantz, a giant-orange-polo-wearing man who represented George in the porn parody. I have never seen someone so quickly and giddily accepted into a subculture’s fandom.
It’s hard to say why Porn Gorg became the guy people fell in love with—I’m sure Porn Jery or Porn Elane are both perfectly good candidates for internet jokes—but maybe it’s just funny to imagine a super-virile George Costanza. Porn Gorg is secretly Self-Actualized Gorg. Steve Pomerantz is a difficult guy to track down, but if you’re out there, we’d love to talk to you about your experience becoming the Gorg that George dreams about.
I mean, he apparently takes photos of hot models for a living. And even when he’s not on set, he’s clearly living his very best life.
Even so, the Seinfeld Shitposters are waiting, with open arms, for Porn Gorg to arrive and rule them like the king he is.