There’s an actual book about a man’s butt having sex with his own butt

This article contains sexually explicit material.

“Where does the miracle of science end and magic begin?”

So begins Chuck Tingle’s latest ebook offering, Pounded in the Butt by My Own Butt, a vision of a transhumanist future of clones and modifications. It’s also a vision of butts.

Tingle is best-known for his work in the subgenre of dinosaur erotica, with titles like My Billionaire Triceratops Craves Gay Ass. (We reviewed that magnum opus here.) He’s also tackled pop-culture moments, such as his erotic ebook based on the Dress meme. (We also reviewed that here.) 

Tingle is no stranger to the fantastic or the anthropomorphized. But by dabbling in the subject of clones, Tingle is putting his finger on the pulse of humanity, technology, science, and desire—that is, after he gets the dirty sex talk out of the way. 

Kirk is into his butt for more than just, well, butt stuff.

Kirk, the story’s protagonist, is a researcher in a near-future bio lab that’s working on human cloning techniques. The story paints a vivid picture of a world where cloning has happened on Huntertuck Island in a private experiment closed off to the world. The project has resulted in a worker drone class biologically programmed to have less intelligence, which creates ethical ambiguity.

Kirk’s lab skirts the restrictions on cloning by not using the Huntertuck method. Instead, it uses its success as the basis for experiments and original research. For ethical reasons, the scientists test on themselves instead of outside subjects. When the book starts, it’s Kirk’s turn at bat. 

Today’s trial, which I have been randomly selected for as the subject, is going to take DNA from my brain, my ass, and a hawk.

While all the other tests have been duds, this one is a success. It produces a butt with wings that can talk, somehow. 

“Happy to be here.” Says the ass. “But you can call me Kirk’s butt.”

“You know that you’re my butt?” I ask.

“Of course I do.” Says my winged ass. “I’m made from your brain, I know everything that you know.”

A slight chill runs down my spine. I hadn’t realized that all of my deepest secrets would suddenly be transplanted into this butt.

Kirk feels an immediate attraction to his own butt, and his fellow scientist, playing wingman (no pun intended), sends the pair home together. On the way, Kirk and Kirk’s butt stop at a bar to get a glass of wine. 

They discuss the idea of sentience and knowledge. The butt explains the difference between having memories and having experiences. 

“I have all your memories about drinking wine, I know what to expect when I do it and I know what it’s going to taste like, but I’ve never truly tasted it for myself.” The butt explains. “It’s incredible.”

It’s deep. But not as deep as it’s about to get. Kirk then finds himself falling for his own cloned butt hybrid.

If I’m going to be honest, at this very moment I can barely contain my lust for this suave sophisticated living butt.

Kirk is into his butt for more than just, well, butt stuff. He’s feeling an emotional connection to the butt, and helps the butt find his own name: Portork. Kirk starts hitting on Portork the Butt, who confides that he’d “like to try anal.” And the duo rushes home.

As the title of the story implies, the butt needs more than a butt to pound Kirk in his own butt, and so a magical penis grows out of the front of the butt’s body when they start getting intimate. The story follows the general format of any erotic novella, with choice pullquotes such as:

“I need you to fuck me.” I suddenly admit in a haze of lustful desperation. “I need to be pounded up the ass by my own ass!”
“I’m just a bad little twink.” I admit to him. “And I need to be slammed from behind. I need to be taught a lesson from my own flying gay ass.”

The story’s ending is abrupt but hopeful. If Kirk can live the dream of having sex with his own cloned, winged ass, anything is possible in the Tingle universe. 

Will Tingle’s labs ever fully animate a human clone? That’s unclear. But if they can produce a winged ass for every individual interested in having sex with his or her own ass, isn’t that the transhumanist future we all deserve? Or is the story’s ending intended to be foreboding, since all technological progress is forgotten the moment Kirk is able to have sex with a modification of his own butt? 

We don’t know, but we’re hoping for a sequel. 

Photo via Chuck Tingle/Amazon | Remix by Jason Reed