Finding FinDom has been a journey… but I took it to a new level this past summer.
You see, this summer, my practice of financial domination took me to Europe. The man that pays me funded travel, in part, to three countries: Switzerland, France, and Italy.
This is my story as to how it all came to be.
As a person who has been poor for several instances in my life, having a financial submissive felt odd at first. Money has always been a sore subject for me. As an artist and writer struggling to make ends meet in Los Angeles, I know the power of cash.
I am one of many who have experienced homelessness due to financial insecurity. The notion of having not only extra money for something grand, let alone someone happily handing it to me, was foreign. It seemed too good to be true, after having to work for several jobs to the point of exhaustion.
FinDom felt as much of a fantasy as, well, living in a world not devoted to capitalism. It makes my intersection with the money fetish more nuanced on several levels.
Finding Myself In Financial Domination
I’ve had a handful of financial submissives over the years. My arrangements were usually small – a bill here, a dress there. I was grateful for the connection. Some understood it. Some people, usually romantic partners or conservative and closed-minded strangers, didn’t.
Financial domination is a form of sex and fetish work. The fetish centers around the exchange of cash from a submissive to a dominant. The point and practice of the fetish differs depending on the individual. Some financial submissives thrive on the humiliation of sending their money to a stranger. Others, like mine, prefer to build a relationship centered on worship and appreciation. The scope of the fetish, from paying for a phone bill to requesting that the dominant take full control over their assets, depends on how far the submissive is willing to go.
In my financial domination practice, submission is met with communication and understanding. Rather than humiliation, I focus on a consensual release of financial control to another person. My submissive receives pleasure in being at my mercy. I demand my submissives perform a variety of financial duties.
For the most part, my submissives have personally sought me out. These men were taken aback by my flirtatious and sex-positive way of being. They wanted to elevate that further, and, well, financial domination was a way that they were fortunate enough to do so. My submissive came to me and communicated their desires. I would then evaluate if I would consider them. The control and choice about finances, unlike my outer world, was in my hands.
However, I hadn’t really utilized the connections I’d developed with my submissives for travel until this summer. It was something I had never considered before.
Financial Freedom (and Domination) After Trauma
During the pandemic, I had actually been able to save a bit. Family matters and the high cost of housing paired with fluctuating jobs, made saving nearly impossible previously. But, by the spring of 2022, it was gone. I was in an unhealthy, financially abusive relationship. While it didn’t destroy me, it did destroy my finances.
My partner, and abuser, moved into my home. He became a source of pain and struggle. He didn’t want me to spend money on myself or on anything I wanted, including travel. It didn’t matter if it was my own money that I’d worked to earn. It wasn’t acceptable in his eyes.
Because of him, I initially passed up on my first offer to be spoiled. He didn’t want me pampered by someone who was happy to pay for things for me. As such, he demanded I stop financial domination. My financial submissive wanted me to get out of the relationship. Worried for my safety and well-being, he offered me a trip to Ireland. He offered to pay in full, had I parted ways with my toxic ex. I regrettably declined.
Later in the summer, however, after I had broken up with said toxic ex, I found myself presented with another opportunity.
I was invited on a work trip to Switzerland. I had the opportunity to extend my trip past that work portion on my own accord, provided I paid for it. Initially, I elected to add only 10 days to my trip. I ended up spending far more than that by the time I finally returned to my home in Los Angeles.
FinSub Funded Vacations
Remembering his previous offer, I called upon my financial submissive. We came to an agreement: he would pay, in part, for the trip. While he wouldn’t take care of all of it, he would gift me a considerable amount that allowed me to maximize my time in Europe.
What started as a work trip and a 10-day vacation turned into a month in Europe.
After my work trip wrapped up in Switzerland, I needed to move quickly. As I had not mapped out everything beforehand, I found myself relying on my trusted submissive to do so in real time. Every few days, we spoke, and he made the arrangements I demanded. Throughout my trip, he worked to assure I got to do everything I desired, booking reservations for restaurants, coffee shops, and bars. He arranged and orchestrated my trains and ferries. He booked the hotels. I just sat back, demanded, and accepted what I deserved.
It’s Risky Business
I must state that I would beckon those dazzled by things to exercise extreme caution before embarking on such a grand arrangement. The submissive that did this was someone I’d known for nearly a decade. I had met this person in real life. We had established a years-long connection before this vacation.
I can not stress this enough: I was comfortable making this trip because of a long-tenured and established relationship. While I was abroad, I had folks who knew what was happening, just in case. It’s easy to glamorize FinDom, but this is not something that I would ever recommend. There’s a lot of risk.
It Wasn’t Always Perfect
Everybody always wants the details.
Not every financial submissive is a multi-millionaire. As such, my submissive had to stick to his budget. The hotels I stayed at varied in location and star quality. I didn’t stay at any five-star accommodations on the dime of my submissive (this time), I did stay at two, three, and four-star ones. My hotel experiences ranged from the relaxed, luxe, and lovely to a hot, cell-like room without air conditioning. If you’re wondering why my financial submissive booked that room, the cost of hotels in Zurich near public transit options is higher than you’d think.
While it’s easy to portray a “financial submissive funded vacation” as glamorous, it wasn’t always. He had booked me a hotel in Langstrasse, which we thought was a hip area of Zurich. It is, but I later came to find out it was also known as the sex district. As I traveled, the locals noted it was dangerous for someone there who dressed as I did – cute form-fitting outfits, dresses, halter tops, and booty shorts. I brushed the warnings off as sex work stigma, made to scare me.
Unfortunately, I found out that the local’s warnings held true.
I had a lot of eyes on me in the area. I faced unwanted attention from strangers who assumed I was a sex worker. Eventually, discomfort gave way to danger, and I was sexually assaulted, in public, by a man outside a grocery store. Thankfully a couple of local women immediately came to my side offering assistance and care. They might not have spoken English as their first language, but their care and kindness were comforting and beyond the reach of language or place.
That being said, this is an experience any woman on a vacation could have. Financial domination funded or not, women face an increased risk of harassment when traveling on their own.
Making Him Pay For His Mistakes
After the assault, I found a restaurant with wifi access to alert my submissive that I needed new accommodations. I messaged my financial submissive his new objective: booking a better hotel in a better area.
A new location was a must. I didn’t know where and I didn’t care how. I told my submissive to take care of it. If he had to pay a premium to get it, that was simply too bad. I wanted to be somewhere I felt safe: if he was concerned for my safety and pleasure, he’d provide.
We began searching for options again, as he worked to meet my expectations. Naturally, he did.
Having the assistance of my financial submissive allowed me to relax after a frightening experience. The security of knowing my needs would be taken care of while alone in a country for the first time was affirming. I didn’t stress or panic. I demanded, and it was taken care of on my behalf.
It’s About The Money, Honey
Outside of that one scary moment, the trip was everything I could have wanted.
Several sub-funded shopping adventures filled my suitcase to the brim, so he purchased me two more. The money sent by my submissive afforded me the luxury of not feeling as guilty or worried about buying myself things on my trip.
When I was in Switzerland I saw a one-of-a-kind skirt and top done by a Swiss African designer that I wanted. When I was in Italy I was able to buy myself Italian purses and jewelry. In France, I bought myself a votive candle holder from the Palais Lumière. The items I bought varied from place to place, but were a collection of things I could treat myself to remember the trip later. The added benefit was buying without having to worry about the bill.
What’s In It For Him?
People often wonder what a financial submissive gets out of an arrangement like this. In return for the money, hotels, and travel, I would send fully clothed pictures of me prancing about the town without a care. Getting to see me relaxing, traveling, and happy made my sub feel like he was participating in making my life a bit easier. I feel like I got the better end of the deal.
Traveling with a man paying for the privilege meant that I had the freedom to relax and enjoy my trip in ways that I simply would not have been able to have done without financial domination.
This trip was one where I was able to travel with the freedom that allowed my imagination to soar. While some might not understand this, I cannot tell you how much it has meant to me, a woman who has experienced poverty and homelessness.
My submissive opened up a world of possibilities for me. I’ve experienced life in a way I never would have thought was possible otherwise. I’m forever grateful for the connection and trust I’ve established with him. (And I’d welcome many more for those who are also committed to seeing the beauty of my financial domination!)